Fear

Totally dislike the feeling of having to wait outside the emergency department in the hospital. The feeling of not knowing and having to see the different different scenes such as people crying and praying outside, or people in great pain while waiting for someone to attend to them. The second one is the one that made me even scared when I am outside there waiting. And that's what I encountered earlier just now. 

We were just sitting around waiting since there's nothing we can do except to wait - wait for an available ward for admission. Then there was this guy in a wheelchair who was in great pain seeing the muffled cry when the pain had kicked in, and the sweat on his face. We saw. And I was also scared - scared of the pain. Can totally feel his pain was terribly intense. 

I really can't deal with all these. Since young. Hopefully everything will be alright! 

Things Might Not Be The Way How You See It

I have to say that I am very impressed with the girl! Her staying firm despite being despise by everyone, and all for what she had planned in the end... She is very brave, choosing to attend the program in this way, having to withstand the stress of everyone despising her and also misunderstanding her.

Initially when I start watching this, I was literally rolling my eyes at the way she is acting. It's too much then what I can take. Cannot stand it totally. But towards the end, when she finally disclosed her true self that I am stun. Not just me, I think everyone will be shock. And further more her reasoning of why she did this - just so "only" he can see her true self. 

Quick to judge might be the nature of most of us. We tend to look at things and think towards the direction we think it should be. Sometimes things might look like what you think, what in reality, it might not even be so. That is when misunderstandings exist. 

Take for example a scene in a drama I had watched: Two guys was quarreling inside the room, and in the midst of fighting they landed up on top of each other, and was still fighting. Just then, the door open. They froze. But the person who saw them on top is quick to judge from that scenario, thinking that they are doing something inappropriate. That's how misunderstandings happen. If that person who saw the scene had clarified with the two guys, maybe the person will then know it's all just a misunderstanding. 

So, to end off this post, just wanna to say that things might not be the way how you see it! Don't be too quick to judge based on what you think it should be. 

Random

Time sure flies! Been around a month since my last post. But as time goes by without constant blogging, I am suddenly stuck at what exactly to post, or what to update. Mind block as they say, and that if you write more, the smoother it will be in writing. Not sure if this is the case though :P

But anyway, the main updates since my last post will be:

Chinese New Year

This year is the liveliest of all? Not sure when’s the last time it had been so lively at my Grandma’s house… As all of us resides at various locations (most at various parts of Malaysia), we seldom had the chance to gather together. And even so, it was hard as there are so many families – no space to sleep, and some stayed quite a distance away from my Grandma’s house. We took turns to return, but my family usually return on CNY since there’s a long break. But then this year, most of us gathered. And I saw most of my relatives whom I had not seen for like around 8 years!

If I remembered correctly, the last time we seen each other would be at a relative’s wedding.

Taiwan Trip

First trip ever to Taiwan from 25 Feb – 03 Mar.

Accomplishment unlocked! Places we went to are Taichung and Taipei. Personally, I liked the places I went to in Taichung and it seems like I am happier. It’s like going to these scenic places near to the nature side can really let me let loose and forget problems. Must be the nice weather and fresh air. But too bad I didn’t managed to go to CingJing Farm. I heard it’s not too bad! Maybe I shall go there if there’s a chance in future.

But of course, I am not saying that Taipei is not good. It’s not too bad also!  But just personally I liked those sight-seeing places, seeing a place for the first time. The feeling is just amazing:) 

Let’s see if I got the time to do up the blog post for Taiwan.. If not, then it shall be inside my memories and scrapbook for Taiwan (but it's just halfway done). Heehee.

Conflicting Feelings On Changes

With the soon-to-be changes, and the preparations that will lead to it, to tell the truth, I have conflicting feelings. 

One side of me is feeling rather positive about it and actually looking forward to it. I get to learn more things from the change. It might not be a bad thing to learn something new that might be useful in future. Of course there will be the challenges of having to absorb new information, but it will be alright in the end. Another factor is also that I still get to stay with most people that matters. 

The other side is being worried about the uncertainty. Rather normal feeling since we do not know what really to expect and how things will turn out to be with changes. And partly also missing those in in-svc. Missing all the regular disturbing, joking around and gossiping and everything. Even though will see them around, but maybe things might be different from how it is now? I also have no idea.

But even so, I hope that this change is for the best. Hope that it's more of a good thing rather than the negative side...

So, we shall wait around and see. Since it will be effected in another 2 months more. But of course feeling the stress now because of the OJT, having to do up the slides and conducting of trainings in front of groups of people inclusive of the head. Hopefully all will go well during the sessions. 

 

Rant And Move On

And further to the post earlier, regardless of the problems or setbacks, life still goes on. Things won't stop in its tracks for you. 

After the ranting out and reaching a decision , I am finally feeling more carefree already after a good night sleep:) That's how the way I am. After ranting out and all, I will move on or forget. 

So anyway, updates so far.. I have dyed my hair red this year! Second time dye-ing my hair. Last year was the brown colour, safest colour since it's my first attempt at dye-ing. And this year, I still go back to the colour I most wanted to dye since last year. And that is Red! Of course not those bright red.. I don't think I can accept the sudden change to brighter colour. I dyed a darker shade of red. And even so, I took a while to get used to this colour:P

Happy Thursday everyone! One more day to the weekends~ :)

Just Tired

February.. Chapter 2 of 2015 and here I am feeling draining. Have been feeling very tired recently... Not sure if it's just physically tired or maybe it's because of the mental drain. Maybe I am just tired of being repeatedly being reminded of it and all. Maybe I am just... tired of everything.

And I start to wonder. Maybe it's time to think and heed the advice from a friend previously. I being the stubborn one had chosen not to heed the advice before, or maybe I just did not think likewise of what he saw. Until.... recently. 

It's like finding yourself in the middle of a whirlpool, going around in circles with the rapid moving tides without the ability to have any control over it. And regardless of how you keep trying and flailing your arms to try to swim out of it, you find yourself unable to escape this powerful force. 

This is how it feels like. And I think it's enough. After much thinking, I have made up my mind, and I am done. Done with the pointless struggling and flailing around my way out. Now I guess, all I will need is some time to clear up my mind and thoughts. All this is clouding my thoughts and making me lose my usual way of reasoning. But why is it so hard to withdraw myself? 

Can't wait for March - a getaway and a breather! Hopefully things will be better? Wait for my updates then! :)